Friday, March 6, 2009

Thank you, my dear freind..

I was sitting in the therapists office one day, broken down and crying. Tettering.
"I've lost my best buddy. She'll never come back."
"Is she your best buddy, Sophia?"
I was so distraught, I couldn't think strait. My wise and calm therapist, Frank was, as always, pointing out the obvious.
The next time I came in, I had a different take on things.
"She isn't my best friend. And I'm ok with the ones I have, who have stood by me as best they can on a really wild ride."
In the end, one has pounded me with love, often tough love. Given profound advice. Built up my dreams, and never stopped believing in fairies and fairy tale endings. For a spell, she took a break, but never stopped praying. During that break she took care of her own fairy tale, so it would have a nice ending.
Debbie Webster, I love you so much. You were chiselled in an incredibly awkward position, and stood firm. On the love plane. On the loyalty plane. On the honesty plane. Others were supportive of me, but they weren't in the thick of it, the way you were.
On this emotional, endurance race you have been my mobile aid station. In fact, you're the one who made me sign up. Sign up for love. Sign up for living life. And when you thought maybe I was getting more of a beating than I could take, you still let me stay in. Even though it caused you pain.
Then there came a point in February. I said I couldn't go on anymore. You jumped in with both feet. It was art imitating life. I think about how you took care of me when I ran Fee State last year. No matter what I needed, you were there. Strong, relentless, unconditional. I think about how when Coleen's energy drink wasn't there for her at Rocky, you ran back and dug it out of the shelter and caught up to her, so she would have what she needed on her first 100 miler. You know how to take care of people.
I don't care if you're not a writer. I don't care if you don't have fancy college degrees or a fancy house on Ward Parkway. You have made more good of your life experiences than anyone I know. I have a very simple look these days at religion. I stick with God is Love. And you've got more love in your heart than most who devote their lives to God. Thanks for being in my life in my inner circle. Thanks for stumbling along with me. Thanks for reaching out to me when you fall, and picking me up when I did. Thanks for loving the people I love, even when you didn't understand what was going on. Thanks for getting back in. Thanks for giving me sanctuary at your house. Most of all... thanks the other day for telling me you need me as a friend. It is an honor.